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Shawna Lemay gave me quotes from my own novel
Perfecting, and they became the viewfinder through which I commented on the book. I am very pleased to have the opportunity to look at the work in this way. It was provocative, the purse being a trigger for my own way in to the text. Unwittingly, the quotes seem to line up into a compressed novel however elliptical and elusive. The quotes worked like interview questions, so you may read them as such.
p. 11 "She been walking so long, hadn't talked to another soul in days. She carried that big, floppy leather purse."
The purse in my novel
Perfecting was imagined out of the hold of childhood memory. I was born in 1965 and, although the story’s inception had many roots, one was a deliberate need to investigate the time of my beginning consciousness, so the era of peaceniks, Vietnam, Cold War politics, and hand-tooled leather purses. I wanted the book to span, temporally, 1972 to 2004; politically, the end of Cold War; geographically, Canada/USA; thematically, perspectives of family and religion. It is a lot to ask of a novel, I suppose, but I get bored easily, and the project, once I started, did become necessarily more complicated.
The novelist’s job, of course, is to make the reasons for writing the book its undercurrent. I did not want the above motivations to be apparent, but to be felt and experienced by the reader. In other words, no one ought to be conscious of any of the above reasons, but certainly reviewers have noted some. A priest who reviewed the book for
The Catholic Register wrote:
Perfecting is St Augustine’s worst nightmare come true. This made me very happy.
p. 13. "Martha pulled the purse onto her hip, folded it down, and held it close. She had the lure in her other hand."
There was an unabashed attempt to formulate something that felt epic. For this purpose, I read or reread various texts: Gilgamesh, Beowulf, the Shahnameh, the Old Testament, Parsifal, Song of Roland, Kalevala etc. I was interested in the texture of the epic because it seemed to inform the structure and tempo of the writing.
Martha was a difficult character for me. In earlier versions her clarity was dissipated by a lack of motivation. She was lost inside her damaged self. This made her very difficult to apprehend. I really needed to pin her somehow to something. It made sense that she should mirror Parsifal, the young naïf who is brought up outside of civilization, and whose initial exit from his shrouded upbringing leads him into all sorts of misadventure. Yet, he is a grail seeker, a goodly, though stumbling, knight. Martha, too, became in my mind a peacekeeper: a kind of peaceful soldier. The gun in her purse, on the one hand, and the Biblical lure, drawing who knows what terrible fish, in the other, factored in my mind as an analogue to any number of
iconic artifacts. There are certain scenes in the book that work like tableaux in my mind, and this is one of them: it is a snapshot moment, or a long slow shot where the camera would hold and pull slowly away. There were filmmakers who influenced this book – Bergman was one, Herzog, another.
p. 58 "Martha pulled her clothing off in Hattie's little house, sitting with her face to the window, her reflection sharp in the glass. She got her purse up onto the bed, groped around for the gun, and sat there, her ass pressing into the soft coverlet, looking at the gun as if it could tell her anything at all."
In fairytale and folktale, the reader comes across many tropes, and the purse is one of them. The purse, or wallet, is usually magical in that it can recreate meals or refill with gold. In short, it can fulfill dreams, dreams that often turn nightmarish for the dreamer. It is a vessel that empties and fills, like a bladder or a womb. There is always something portentous about a bag. It hides. It holds secrets. It holds possibilities. And for the owner, it protects what is hidden, and maintains the secret. In this case, it holds a gun.
p. 134 "The purse, which she'd been clutching the whole night through, as if the idea of a gun, loaded or not, could protect her, she let clunk to the floor at her feet."
The gun Martha holds is a reproduction of an original John Browning handgun, heavily engraved. Browning was a Mormon convert, who made the guns the Mormons used to protect themselves and their beliefs as they fled and/or confronted their detractors across America. I have always found it particularly intriguing that the Mormons were initially persecuted largely for the fact they were abolitionists, and not, as most believe, because of their pluralist (polygamist) tenets. The reason the gun needed to be Mormon forged has to do with the play of religion, ideology, and war in the novel. As well, and perhaps more importantly, Mormonism was especially interesting to me because it is uniquely American, created as a response to the native population in North America. America, as seen through the lens of Mormonism, is a simultaneous Eden. The inclusion of Mormonism in the novel’s fabric also points to early American communism, and therefore became an important link between Communism and early American ideology.
The gun in the purse is a handy analogue for Martha gaining power; she has a gun and is thinking about buying ammunition for it. It is also the metaphoric key to the real story of Curtis, the man who has sheltered her within his religious ideology for most of her adult life. So, it holds her future, and loaded or not, it holds the decision that will be her fork in the road.
Also, if the purse is a stand-in for womb, and keeping in mind Martha is barren, her impotence is further defined by the empty pistol. In short, the gun in the purse can be seen in Freudian terms, and therefore as a kind of weirdo-Kathryn-Kuitenbrouwer-in- joke. It is an instance of the author amusing herself. Like I said, I get bored easily.
p. 196 "Martha leaned over, fussed with her leather bag, getting something out and then securing the bag good. There was a pull string and then a latch, and she tied the one in a double knot and latched the other and shoved the bag under the seat. Aubie got to thinking what else besides memories might be in that bag but decided to save that thought."
and
p. 266 "Martha told herself she would not cry in front of these men, whatever they might now do to her. Her mind went to the gun in her purse. She was finding it troublesome to breathe. She grappled with her purse without any clear intention and said, 'What do I want from you? I just only ever wanted to solve Curtis, and maybe I just did.'"
The gun Martha carries turns out to be the sister gun to Aubie’s. This is not something Martha knows, but the reader does. The symbol leather hippie bag (and all the corollary aspects of hippie that might hold: peacefulness, handmade, natural etc.) gives way to the potential of the gun (potential evil, protection, fear, freedom), and in terms of story, Martha is not ready to reveal her secret, nor is she entirely ready for the answers it might give to her questions about Curtis. In other words, she is keeping the gun a secret for her own sake. She’s afraid of what is real.
p. 269 " 'What's in that purse, lady?'
'It isn't your business,' she said. It came out so solid, even though she knew it was his business."
The gun in Martha’s purse, which is the gun Curtis used to shoot his half-brother, is one piece of a larger puzzle in the book, as well. It ties up to Aubie’s gun, to the MANPAD in Pakistan that this shadowy Cpl Michael Dama is buying and selling, and, therefore, to
the war rugs that Dama is exporting and selling through Aubie. The small story of how Curtis shot his half-brother was something of a parallel in my mind to larger world events.
The questions I was asking myself as I wrote the book were: how did the events in Vietnam relate globally to the events in Afghanistan/Pakistan in the 1980s and how did those events precipitate 9/11 and the events that followed? What is the central aspect of the fear of communism? What is protection as seen locally as opposed to as seen globally?
The gun imagery was a way to form a matrix inside the novel connecting these visually. The
MANPAD, or Stinger, was a US weapon designed specifically to shoot down armoured Russian helicopters, and it is essentially the reason the Mujahedin conquered Russia. Once the US pulled out of Afghanistan, once they’d propped up the Taliban in those early days, mistakenly viewing it as a stable governing force, and a potential oil ally, things went wrong. The Muj were largely rogue soldiers the rest of the Middle East had been happy to expunge from their own territories. The Muj ‘army’ had nowhere to go, nothing to do with their particular skill sets, and they weren’t that keen on giving the guns back.
The US tried futilely to buy them back, but many of the guns are still unaccounted for. To me, the guns became a symbol for a particular type of naivety. A type of naivety that is slightly tinged with racism: We’ll get the little brown guys to fight the war, and they’ll be so grateful we helped them out. The Americans greatly underestimated the will of the hill-tribe people, and the complexity of the mess they left behind; they were assuming a particular reciprocity. As it turned out, there was reciprocity: the Muj were using the US just as much or more than the other way around. Seen in this way, the events in Pakistan and Afghanistan are the detritus of the end of the Cold War.
I am not suggesting that the novel is an allegory. It is not meant to be. It is really a story with another story as its undercurrent. It was my hope that it could be read fairly superficially and still work as a fast read. The sword proves, in this scene, to be double edged for Martha. She has loaded the gun and is confronting her nemesis – Curtis’s patriarchal dragony father. Instead of giving her power, the loaded gun takes some of it away. It shifts her from the divine to the mortal. It gives her groundedness and reality, and so she loses the spiritual perspective, the ethereal, the godly. It is a fall from grace – seen from the perspective of a Believer – and a deliverance – seen from an atheistic perspective. It was important to me that the ending bent in both directions, that it question without a clear answer.
p. 270 "Martha was holding her purse so close she'd formed sweat on her shirt. She'd held on to the Browning for so long, and it was still there in her purse, a weapon, with a weapon's power. She was mortal..."
The nice thing about the purse in the novel, as it turns out, is that it holds the entire story. There would be no story if Martha had not found the gun, and engaged with it as her central problem/need. In this way, the purse is like the book, a handy container for story, a way to transport the material of the story and – one hopes – the reader!
